𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤s

𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐬 by owning our value, choosing presence over pretense, and by choosing C.A.R.E. (Courage, Authenticity, Responsibility, and Empathy). Forced closures, unfulfilled dreams, and aborted plans challenge our self-worth and leave us vulnerable. This vulnerability manifests in every sphere of our lives. Earlier this week, I shared a post on handling recurring disappointments. I believe disappointments and appreciations are normal in life, but when disappointments reoccur in one specific area of our lives, we need to give it attention, because it is no longer normal.

As Brené Brown says in her TED talk on the Power of Vulnerability, we should not numb vulnerability. If we desire healing and progress, we must give our vulnerability the attention, the processing, and the understanding it deserves. Not all situations come with a perfect solution; some just require forgiveness, acceptance, and letting go.

Our sense of worth, not our personality strength, will determine whether we fall apart or rise and contain the situation. Self-worth tells us the situation is external and needs to be managed, and that the situation has caused personal damage that I need to take care of. Personality strength, however, tells us to carry the situation because "we are strong" or to pretend it does not exist. It dictates, "Hurting won’t break me, and bleeding is normal." This personality strength approach has dire psychological consequences, often accompanied by a poor reputation. A person of self-worth identifies that they are a stable constant entering inconsistent situations; therefore, they are not defined by the situations they encounter or by their outcomes. People with strong self-worth are not diminished by harsh experiences; they are enhanced by them.

I believe that some instances reoccur because they are allowed a free rein. The cycle continues when we choose to accuse instead of acknowledging, and when we ignore instead of confronting. In that process of acknowledging and confronting, we need to get to a point of agreement with self. This agreement does not only contain a resolution but also puts preventative measures in place to break the cycle or protective measures in case of a repeat. This includes being able to close the book when the chapters have ended, no matter how much we have enjoyed the book. Efforts to overlive or overstay may provide temporary comfort but cannot deliver true satisfaction, and they often lead to greater pain rather than benefit.

𝐊𝐞𝐲 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐈 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞:

- Storms subside when we fully engage with our inner selves.

- Destructive patterns persist until they are directly confronted.

- Forgiveness is essential for personal liberation.

- Maintaining one's peace is an individual responsibility, not a selfish act.

- Authentic growth frequently commences when we finally choose to disengage from what diminishes us.